Real Vampires Dont Sparkle (Real Vampires Dont Sparkle #1) Free read ´ 104

Free read Real Vampires Dont Sparkle (Real Vampires Dont Sparkle, #1)

Real Vampires Dont Sparkle (Real Vampires Dont Sparkle, #1) Free read ´ 104 Ø Matheus Taylor didn’t ask to be murderedTo be fair the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored but he felt it was worth stating regardlessHis life might have been ordinaT done with it yet uin didn’t care A seventeen hundred old Roman uintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to himNow Matheus spends his nights running fo. The book bored me silly I thought with a satire title the book would be funny It wasn’t Oh there was one joke at Twilight’s expense but it was of a nod to the title than a true attempt at humor Other than that the book had nothing that could be deemed funny whatsoever The book was 90% filler 10% plot and I’m being lenient the charactersMatheus was whiny and reckless He never persisted in seeking answers as he should have Many uestions should have been answered on the spot for the sake of the plot Those answers would have educated him and importantly the reader They would have explained what the fuck that was going on It was absurd how uin repeatedly and voluntarily put himself in danger with Matheus rashly chasing after him as if both had a death wish I hated how despite his attraction to uin Matheus kept insisting that he was not gay and that being gay is all right but he’s not gay The dude protested too much Nobody was fooleduin hud Matheus too much He acted too mellow and patient with Matheus’s crap to be convincing as an antediluvian master vampire I wished he took care to discipline Matheus because the dude needed it if not for Matheus than for me and my patience However what I truly took issue was his reticence uin was not a silent person but rarely did he ever say things that mattered things that revealed his motives for all the seemingly random actions that he did I never learned why he turned Matheus and claimed him as his soul mate the plotThere were a lot of things that I never learned that the book should have told me Dialogues were rarely meaningful In the rare occasions that they were and gave long desired answers they didn’t have the impact on the characters that they should have “Oh my ex girlfriendchildhood friend was a werewolf all along Okey dokey Let’s return to chatting about meaningless shit” Virtually everything from the dialogue to the action was delivered in a deadpan wayThe plot lacked that pull that keeps a reader reading The reasons I finished the book at all were because of my unreasonable distaste to leave a book unfinished and my obligation to review the book Not until the last third of the book did the plot finally seemed like it was going in a direction instead of wandering around like a bored kid On the rising action part of the plot readers learn a war was being waged between vampires and vampires hating humans something so incredibly important it should have been declared immediately in the beginningWhat was worse was that it was not until the last minute did the relationship between Matheus and uin made an inch of progress I knew this book was not a mm romance but FFS I couldn’t believe it took so long for Matheus to even consider accepting his feelings for uin I couldn’t believe uin never made a move and communicated his feelings towards Matheus It was cliché how it took something seriously dangerous with both men on the edge of life and true death for them to open up to one anotherEually bad was the fact that the ending was left open The villains weren’t defeated Nothing was resolved NothingIn ConclusionI rate Real Vampires Don’t Sparkle 2 stars for it was okay but only because I was bored and not actively annoyed Though the writing was competent the storytelling was crap The book was a pointless time suck Do not recommend

Amy Fecteau Ø 4 Free read

R his life uestioning his sexual orientation and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left aloneUnfortunately that was never going to happenVolume One of Real Vampires Don't Spark. I read it just for the title Well aside from Lover At Last I'm not into homo sexy vampire books but this one seemed funny and witty so I gave it a try The title ok it was the titleuin and Matheus are pretty much a modern version of my first vampire love I'm not kidding I was in love with vampires the moment I watched Interview with the VampireLestat and Louis This amazing pic was drawn by Satomi Chanuin is the cool dangerous and sexy gay vamp Lestat he turned whiny Matheus Louis uin tries to teach Matheus the way to be a vamp but Matheus is reluctant to assimilate his new vamp side or his gay side ohh and he also has daddy issues courtesy of Matheus true identity I'll shut up now no spoilersWell that's when the similarities between IWTV and RVDS ends The banter between the characters is pretty good I was laughing so hard a couple of times Puin is the bad ass old powerful openly gay vampire and he has the patience of a saint He puts up with Matheus whining and childish tantrums also with his denial To be or not to be gay 'Cause uin wants Matheus but Matheus does not want to want uinAnd Matheus poor guy he got rid of his controlling father just to be turned vampire against his will and having uin telling him what to do On top of that he now has to fight the attraction to uin see Matheus swears he's straightThere are other fun characters like Bianca and Alistar ahh Bianca drunk on pain killers thinking the stuffed teddy bears were plotting against her that was hilarious The book ending was very mhhh abrupt I mean that was no ending Here is the rest of the storyhttpcuriosityuillscomreal vampiIf you want a light funny reading with gay vamps werewolves and some crazy fanatics give this book a chance Net Galley provided me the book in exchange for my honest review

review ð PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Ø Amy Fecteau

Real Vampires Dont Sparkle Real Vampires Dont Sparkle #1Matheus Taylor didn’t ask to be murderedTo be fair the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored but he felt it was worth stating regardlessHis life might have been ordinary but it was his life and he wasn’. Oh the sarcasm is strong in this one It's so strong that the book has than a couple of 1 star reviews from people who just couldn't handle that much attitude So strong that even I got annoyed at the MC a couple of times And I love me some snarkBut omg it was soooo funnyI was laughing my ass of at some points in this storyOkay so the deal is there is a guy Matheus who gets killed and turned into a vampire against his will by a 1700 yr old Roman vamp named uin in the beginning of the book At first I thought oh great it's going to be all Stockholm Syndrome gay for you body betraying bullshit oh but don't worry about any of that becauseA The MC's not gay B He never shuts up about being killed against his will C there is NO sex or even romance in the book There is however so many great lines that I highlighted half the book A few items to shareAfter our MC Matheus states that he's not gay for the millionth time You sociopathic son of a bitch Matheus said I'm not fucking gayI know said uin People in Zambia know The anal probing aliens that pick up hicks on back roads know When they buzz by in their invisible spaceships they go 'oh not Matheus Taylor We can't pick him up He's not gay'Invisible spaceships he askedIf your mission was to explore the rectums of a primitive species would you want the rest of the universe to know asked uin When uin's ex shows up and tries to beam him in the head with a glass sculpture and Matheus comes to the rescue Here said Matheus handing Alistair a candlestick Aim for his head When uin wakes Matheus up for the night but he's already awake and talking to his bestie about whether he might have slightly gay leanings The door to the next room over opened I don't thinkA series of bangs shook the door in its frameGet up Sunshine uin yelledFuck off Matheus shouted backUnintelligible curses leaked through the gap beneath the door A low bang vibrated the door; Matheus guessed uin gave it a kick before stomping offWe have a complicated relationship Matheus said I'm not sure about whether I will read the next book because I saw that the main not a couple separate for that book I'm not a fan of when that happens But this one was awesome fun